The Pain Doula
What is a "Pain Doula"?
Think about it - we have doulas who guide us through birth and support us through death. But what about the millions of us navigating life with chronic pain? When pain becomes your "new normal," who's there to help you keep moving forward?
Living with chronic pain changes everything. It affects our mental health, strains our relationships, and can derail our careers.
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THAT'S WHERE A PAIN DOULA COMES IN.
A Pain Doula is an expert in walking alongside you through the complex journey of chronic pain. They provide the support that's often missing - partnering with you to reclaim your emotional wellbeing, build mental resilience, and connect you with resources that can actually make a difference in your daily life.
My Story
Living with chronic pain since a traumatic injury in 1998 wasn't a path I chose. But through eight surgeries, countless procedures, and permanent losses of function, I've earned a profound education in how to keep living when pain becomes your constant companion.
My journey from a UCLA-educated communications expert to chronic pain survivor has given me a singular purpose: to be there for others walking this daunting, often isolating path.
I'm here because I know that when the surgeries end or the treatments run out, you're often left on your own to make sense of your "new normal."
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. TO TRULY SEE YOU,
to understand and guide you through the impact pain has on your mental health, relationships, career, and spirit.
To stand beside you with hard-earned wisdom and show you that while pain may be your constant companion, it doesn't have to define your life.
Services
While I was a corporate VP responsible for a global team of 50, I underwent two back-to-back reverse total shoulder replacements (surgeries #7 and #8 for me). I was overwhelmed with the pressure of trying to perform at the highest level while masking my pain at work.
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Throughout my pain journey, I had needs, questions, and struggles that couldn't be addressed by any of the wonderful providers I'd assembled as a team. In spite of having regular access to a physical therapist, orthopedic surgeon, psychologist, massage therapist, and meditation coach – not to mention, caring friends & family – there was a gap.
I NEEDED SOMETHING THAT WASN'T OUT THERE.
I needed someone who'd been in my shoes, who understood first-hand how to deal with the challenges I was facing. Not another doctor with a clinical suggestion, not a just well-meaning friend who could try to sympathize.
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I NEEDED EMPATHY, EXPERIENCE-BASED GUIDANCE AND COACHING
FROM SOMEONE WHO'D BEEN IN MY SHOES.
How I Can Help You
Through 1:1 coaching, I work with adults struggling to navigate life with chronic pain.
Below are some examples of common questions and issues my clients ask me to address:
THE PHYSICAL
"How do I prepare for surgery at home and at work? What if I can't bounce back as quickly as they expect?"
"With so many 'alternative healing' options out there, what will actually work for me?"
"How do I deal with conflicting opinions between different doctors and providers—who should I listen to?"
"Some days, the pain is too much, and yet I have no idea how to ask for help or how to advocate for myself—like asking for time off work. How can I get better at that?"
THE MENTAL
"Why am I feeling depressed now, when I've never had a history of depression before?"
"I have a high-pressure job and no clue how to talk to my employer about my pain. Some days it's even too much to work—how do I take care of myself without losing my job?"
"I can't golf/hike/run/etc. anymore, and now I don't recognize myself—what can I do about it?"
"Why don't my friends/spouse/family seem to really understand what I've been through? I don't feel seen, but I don't know how to fix that."
Together, we work through your experiences, fears, and challenges. I help you navigate and unlock a new chapter in your life in which you manage your pain—not the other way around.
Carla S., 49, Orinda
"Holly was a crucial part of my pain and healing journey. Facing chronic pain—and the anxiety that came with it—was overwhelming, and I often felt lost and alone. Holly listened, supported me, and helped me explore different modalities that ultimately brought me to a place of calm and empowerment over my own healing."
Jeff R., 33, Boulder, CO
After 2 surgeries and 3 years of pain, Holly helped me deal with the confusion and frustration of multiple conflicting opinions on what to do next.
I honestly could not have navigated the complexity on my own—having guidance from someone who's walked in my shoes was a game changer."
Beth H., 52, Irvine
I didn't recognize myself anymore. Chronic pain took running and biking out of my life, and I started letting other things slide alongside that loss.
Holly helped me gain new perspective, build emotional resilience, and gave me the space to share feelings I so badly needed to express to someone who understood."
Helpful Resources
These are a few of the books, tools, and resources I've found especially life-changing along my pain journey.
